What Is Wrong with Severus
by wingnutdawn
Summary: Minerva is reflecting about Severus's school years and that of Harry's and how she felt about both.Severus is thinking back himself. Character Death HBP and In hiding shortly after
1. Background according to Minerva

**What Is Wrong With Severus? **

Chapter 1-Background according to Minerva

Severus was not a happy person and getting worse as time went on.. That was obvious to everyone who came into contact with him.

Professor McGonagall was getting more concerned with the continuing friction between Severus and Harry Potter. The two of them could barely stay in the same room without one or the other losing their cool.

Professor Mcgonagall has known Severus since he was eleven years old , when he came to Hogwarts dressed in some rather worn out robes, very pale and skinny. He was totally withdrawn and was obviously neglected and abused. He was not in her house but the distant forlorn look about him touched her maternal being. He never understood the normal interactions of childhood and she felt bad that she hadn't helped him then.

It was too bad he was Slytherin House while Slughorn was Head of House, that man didn't care for any of the children unless they were well connected and able to help him with his social climbing

It didn't help that James Potter and his gang of Marauders took an instant dislike to him and he returned that dislike. Those were very turbulent years and she suspected that his experiences with the Marauders twisted sense of humour towards him were partly responsible for Severus becoming a death eater.

Severus did his work conscientiously and was an excellent student, If he wasn't so depressed all the time and was able to interact more with others it might have been better for him.

Now Harry Potter was in a similar situation. Minerva had waited in front of 4 Privet Drive in her animagi form of a tabby cat observing those disgusting muggle relatives of Lily Evans Potter.

Too bad young Harry had to be left with these muggle relatives, but he had no other and Albus said that the boy had to go there.

Harry looked good in his new robes when he came to Hogwarts and that was with thanks to his parents having wizard money that was saved for him at Gringotts, but the years of abuse at his relatives hands was evident. He was in Griffindor which was good and she could keep and eye on him

Severus was hard on the boy from the first time they came in contact with each other and that was too bad as if he had been able to see beyond the boys similarity to his father they might have been able to help each other.

Minerva had tried to figure out how they both could be helped, Severus seemed to get more testy as time went on yet she could sense that he wasn't really meaning to be as nasty as he appeared.

Then there is Harry who is one of those people who think they must do the deed now and worry about the consequences later.

Minerva was determined to help Harry adjust like she couldn't do with Severus when he was a student. She felt like she was going upstream with the boy. he knew she was fond of him yet he disobeyed the rules laid down and she certainly heard about it when Severus caught him out after bedtime.

Minerva also wondered why Albus was not helping to make Harry obey the school rules like he should when she sent the boy to him.He always had some excuse to let Harry off.


	2. Severus's thoughts about his life

**What is wrong with Severus**

Chapter 2-Severus's thoughts about his life

Severus knew he was nasty whenever he came in contact with Harry but he couldn't help himself. The boy rubbed him the wrong way. Every time he looked at Harry he saw James and his memory of his childhood humiliations came back. He felt trapped .

Severus would have liked to be one of those people who every body got along with but he had been programmed from childhood to distrust and hate other people. His father beat him as a regular thing as a child just because he existed, and his mother was powerless or too weak to stop the abuse even though she was a witch. The fights between the two escalated as he got older and he tried to stay out of their sight by staying alone in his room for hours on end.

Outside the house wasn't much better with the other children in the neighborhood taunting him and making fun of his clothes, features and generally making him even more aware that he would never fit in.

When he got his letter from Hogwarts he thought he might fit in there but those years just made him more aware that he was a misfit. James Potter and his band of Marauders made sure that Severus was aware of that fact, and the other students followed James lead.

Severus felt his life was a torturous journey that was to be experienced as a series of rejections from all he came in contact with. Those who did accept him only did so to reap the benefits of his intelligence and abilities. Lucius had got him to join up as a death eater with Voldemort when he was feeling really low and humiliated for the umpteenth time by James and his Marauder friends, by using a thinly disguised form of friendship.

Minerva was alright even if they butted heads about the children especially Potter. Most times she treated Severus like any other adult and not like he was a dispised abomination to be looked down on and ignored like many of the other teachers around Hogwarts whom Severus had the misfortune to interact with.

The only real friend Severus thought he had is Professor Albus Dumbledore and he had bound him with an unbreakable vow after Severus had came to him when he realized what a blasted fool he had been going back to Voldemort and telling him about that Prophesy concerning Voldemort and the child born at the end of July.

Severus had not known it had to do with the Potters when he told Voldemort.. He went to Albus Dumbledore and revealed everything to him. Albus told him that he was to become a spy for the Order of the Phoenix and that is what he had done.


	3. Begining of the End?

**What is Wrong With Severus**

Chapter 3-Begining of the End?

Severus was brooding in his office, he was not happy with what Albus had ordered him to do. He had tried to get out of it but Albus insisted that it was the only way and reminded Severus that he had agreed to do whatever Albus told him when he made the unbreakable vow those many years ago.

Severus felt like he was falling into a deep chasm. His world seemed to be fractured and unstable.

Albus always trusted Severus and Severus felt he had earned that trust.

He had executed all of Albus's requests and orders to the elder wizard's satisfaction.

There were the others like Allister Moody who didn't really believe he was no longer a Deatheater. Albus stood up for him at his trial and Severus was thankful for the faith Albus showed in him and his repentence.

Severus had proved true to the cause time and time again when spying on his former associates ( the followers of Voldemort) and reporting back to Albus.

Harry Potter certainly did not make his life any easier when he kept finding the boy disobeying the school rules and getting into all kinds of trouble.

The boy consistently lied when faced with proof that he wasn't doing as he should. His disregard in obeying Albus and other members of the order about learning occumency from Severus for example.The boy obviously had no intention of learning to block his mind.Even Granger was on his case and he lied to her about his progress. After Severus had caught the boy in the pensieve watching Severus's most humiliating moments Harry had told everybody that he didn't need any more lessons.

Harrys actions that year caused the death of Sirius Black which he had turned around in his own mind and tried to put the blame for the death at the department of mysteries on Severus and his apparent indifference to Harrys info about Sirius and Voldemort. Albus tried to straighten out Harrys opinion but the boy needed a scrapegoat for his own actions and Severus was the most logical one in Harrys mind.

Severus couldn't care less either way any more, but he was a member of the order and Severus suspected that Harry would be responsible for many more deaths before the war was over.

He heard a racket outside his Office and tiny professor Flitwick came in and told him the Deatheaters are inside the castle and Albus had called down out of the tower for someone to go and get Severus.

Severus heard him out and then with a great sadness inside him stunned Flitwick so he couldn't get in the way then left his office, He ran to the tower past the other defenders of the castle and up the stairs were he found Albus floating in the air and talking to Draco Malfoy who was supposed to kill him by the orders of Voldemort.

Severus knew that Harry would be hidden by his invisibility cloak and immobilized by Albus before the Death Eaters had arrived. Severus stood with his wand in hand and by Legimens he communicated one more time with Albus."Please don't make me do this I don't want to cause your death. You are my friend.'

Albus sent back by Legimens "you must Severus it is the only way now since Voldemort can access Harrys mind. He must believe that you are still a Deatheater. I am useless now and weak, please keep your word as my friend and kill me now."

Severus raised his wand with revulsion and hatred showing on his face for the deed he must do for Albus

Albus said out loud for the beneift of those present "Severus...Please"

"AVADA KEDAVRA"

The green light streamed from Severus's Wand and Albus fell slowly backwards and outside of the tower to the ground below.

Severus grabbed Draco Malfoy then turned and ran off. His heart was sore with the pain and knowledge that no one would ever believe he was and would always be loyal and worthy of Albus's trust in him.

Severus had been told by Albus that there was a vial with a memory he had left behind to prove Severus was ordered to do this,most despictable deed but Severus wasn't going to count on anybody finding the vial and revealing the truth.

Severus was now on the run and friendless once again.


	4. POSTSCRIPT

**POSTSCRIPT**

**A Short Time After The Deed**

"Professor."

"Quiet"

"Please sir"

"Don't say anything."

Severus and Draco sat in the abandoned house which had been made unplottable some time back by Albus and Severus.

Draco was terrified. He had failed and now he was on the run with Severus who obviously wasn't in any mood to be civil."

Severus was in great pain though he did not care to show it. The talons of the Hippogriff tore large rents across his back when they were escaping the grounds of Hogwarts. His neck and hands were feeling pretty bad also.

Draco persisted "Sorry for failing, my mission."

Severus looked up at him "You don't realize the half of it the master had expectd you to fail and is prepared to destroy you as a consequence to punish your father."

Draco paled even more than normal.He didn't realize he had been just another expendable pawn in one of Voldemorts plans.

Severus thought quietly to himself "Right, here I am because I promised Alblus to follow his plan.I know that Potter was there under his invisiblility cloak, at least Albus immobilized the brat for me."

Draco looked around the old house and spotted a Magimedi Kit. He went over to pick it up and brought it back to the table where Severus sat in silence.

"Professor maybe I should look to cleaning those wounds on your back." Draco said in a subdued tone

Severus studied the boys pale face and said a little more kindly "All right go ahead."

He slid his tattered cloak and coat off, The shirt was caked with blood.Severus pulled it off carefully as it hurt him to move . Draco gasped to himself as he saw the extent of the damage one Hippogriff could really do then proceeded to clean up the wounds.

Severus hoped that Albus had remembered his promise to leave a record of their plan with a member of the Order, meanwhile he had Draco and he knew the boys Dark Mark was burning from the summons just as his was.

He had to think of what was to be done now.

He didn't want to go to Voldemort yet or take Draco with him He had to get the boy to his mother as promised but not to Spinners End where that abomination Pettingill would more than likely be lounging around onthe sofa making an absolute pig of himself as he was wont to do. That rat would love to take the Boy and Severus himself if he could in front of Voldemort and watch them suffer from the vicious hexes and curses that Voldemort would lay on them once they returned. He would use excuses that he had to punish both of them.

Draco for failing him and Severus for not returning promptly with the boy.

He swore to himself at Lucius for encouraging the boy become a Deatheater and making it sound like it was the right thing to follow in his footsteps.

Draco himself was thinking as he worked."I really did it to myself this time, Iv'e mde a real mess of things and now here both the Professor and I are stuck

My arm is burning bad with Voldemort's summons and I am afraid.The Professors arm must be doing the same.

Draco was finished cleaning the wounds and was now bandaging them, trying to be gentle as he winced thinking of how much they must hurt but Severus gave no outward sign that he was bothered by them.

After Draco was done he put the kit away and they both sat there at the table with food and drink untouched in front of them.Each in their own thoughts.


End file.
